Hawzah News Agency | Imam Ali, peace be upon him, advises us in Nahj al‑Balāghah:
«الِاسْتِغْنَاءُ عَنِ الْعُذْرِ، أَعَزُّ مِنَ الصِّدْقِ بِهِ.»
“To be above the need for apology is nobler than to make a valid one.” (Wisdom no. 329)
Commentary:
Although admitting one’s mistake and seeking forgiveness from others is a sign of wisdom, as Imam Ali, peace be upon him, syas,1 we must nevertheless strive as much as possible to avoid putting ourselves in situations where an apology becomes necessary, for it diminishes a person’s dignity.
Imam al‑Sadiq, peace be upon him, says:
«لا یَنبَغی لِلمُؤمِنِ أن یُذِلَّ نَفسَهُ، قُلتُ: بِما یُذِلُّ نَفسَهُ؟ قالَ: یَدخُلُ فیما یَعتَذِرُ مِنهُ.»
“It is not proper for a believer to humiliate himself.” (The narrator asked:) “How does he humiliate himself?” The Imam replied: “By doing something for which he must later apologize.” (Wasaeil al-Shia, v. 16, p. 156)
(Still, it must be emphasized again that if one errs, seeking forgiveness is indeed a sign of wisdom.)
Therefore, Imam Ali, peace be upon him, sets forth a principle for our daily relationships and interactions:
«و احذَرْ کلَّ عَمَلٍ إذا سُئلَ عَنهُ صاحِبُهُ أنکَرَهُ أوِ اعتَذَرَ مِنهُ، و لا تَجعَلْ عِرضَکَ غَرَضا لِنِبالِ القَولِ.»
“Avoid doing anything that, if you were questioned about it, you would have to deny or apologize for. Do not make your honor and reputation a target for the arrows of people’s words.” (Nahj al-Balaghah, Wisdom no. 69)
The same principle applies to the relationship between the Creator and His servant:
«تَرْکُ الذَّنْبِ، أَهْوَنُ مِنْ طَلَبِ الْمَعُونَةِ [التَّوْبَةِ].»
Abstaining from sin is easier than seeking repentance afterward. (Nahj al-Balaghah, Wisdom no. 170)
Now that the matter of apology has been discussed, it is appropriate to mention the religious duty of the person who is asked to forgive.
Sometimes someone comes to you seeking pardon for a wrong they committed, perhaps they have no real excuse, but they still come with humility and shame. In this regard, Imam Ali, peace be upon him, gives a very beautiful instruction:
«اِقبَلْ عُذرَ أخیکَ، و إن لَم یَکُن لَهُ عُذرٌ فَالتَمِسْ لَهُ عُذرا.»
“Accept your fellow brother's excuse, and if he has no excuse then find an excuse for him.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 71, p. 165)
The importance of accepting excuses is so great that Imam Sajjad, peace be upon him, says:
«لاَ یَعْتَذِرُ إِلَیْکَ أَحَدٌ إِلاَّ قَبِلْتَ عُذْرَهُ وَ إِنْ عَلِمْتَ أَنَّهُ کَاذِبٌ.»
“Whenever anyone apologizes to you, accept his apology — even if you know that he is lying.” (Bihar al-Anwar, v. 71, p. 180)
And now, a final word—addressed to God, the Exalted:
O Lord! We are sinners; we are regretful, though we have no excuse. You were witness when we disobeyed You. We enjoyed Your blessings, yet we committed sin. Now, we have no refuge except the door of Your mercy.
"al‑ʿafw, al‑ʿafw, al‑ʿafw (Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me)"
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1. «اَلْمَعْذِرَةُ بُرْهَانُ اَلْعَقْلِ» - Oyun al-Hikam, v. 1, p. 35.
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